Do you believe that friends should always stand up for friends when one is getting mistreated?

My ex boyfriend is really terrible to me--saying he still loves me and then basically getting another girlfriend, trying to get our mutual friends to hate me, telling my parents lies about me, and using me all the time. All of my friends hate him so badly for what he has done to me.

But I have this one best friend that doesn't believe that she should hate someone just because I do. She is (fairly) friendly to him and speaks to him if they see each other in public.

I don't think that friends should fight other friends' battles, but I do believe that when someone is awful to a friend, the loyal thing to do would be to at least not speak to that person.

It really hurts my feelings, and I have told her many times but she says she doesn't want to burn her bridges just because he's mean to me.

I don't expect her to chew him out or talk badly about him, but do you think it is wrong to expect her to not speak to him?

Do you think she's an unloyal friend or am I just being selfis

Do you believe that friends should always stand up for friends when one is getting mistreated?myspace commentes

You are right to a point but don't push it. Besides the time will come when she is in your position and then turn about is fair play isn't it.

Do you believe that friends should always stand up for friends when one is getting mistreated?myspace images myspace.com

sometimes, depends on situation
she should not hate hin but ya i agree she shouldent talk to him
Yes, she is a disloyal friend. A real friend would stand up for you and support you.

Dump her. She is probably after him.
She's just making up her own mind. That's okay, I think. Maybe someone has lied to her before and she likes to give the benefit of the doubt.

It shouldn't make any difference to you if people still talk to him. If he's a jerk, he will suffer the consequences in the end anyway.
wow she should totally kick his butt for u thats wat friends r for. mayb she wants to b more than friends w/ him ooo girl u betta which out!
Yes, but cautiously. You never know the whole story. You may get drawn into a codependant situation and become the bad guy.

Your friend may just be trying to be pragmatic. There are always two sides to everything.
A real friend should always be loyal to you, this can be done without taking sides.
I do believe it is important to stick up for your friends, or at least let that other person know that you disagree with them about their friend and why. That way, maybe the other (bad) person may get to see that your not so bad after all. I mean, if your friend respects you that much. . then maybe they would too?
well...if you're friends..she shoud speak up for you

whether it is just a heads up like hey what are you doing to my friend? why do you treat her like that?

or if shes with you and he does that..she should say something

you're right..she shouldn't fight your battles for you..but she should say something

you're friends
you ex boy friend EX is the main part sounds like he is trying to hurt you, your friend does not have to do anything you do everybody is different accept that accept the differences it is what makes people interesting, you are being selfish yes a little bit but allow yourself your feelings and allow your friend theirs
No offence to you, but you are being kind of selfish. You kind of expect your friends to be followers, and your the leader. But this girl, she chooses not to be a follower. I mean she should be that friendly with him but when shes talking to him, maybe she trying to help your relationship. Who knows. But all I know is you are being partially selfish and partially tooo expectant.
he is jealous ..tell him that if he can forgive u ...then u can find it in u toappologize 2 him...he will deny it at first but tell him straight up that if it was meant 2 b then it will happen, but if yall are hateing each other then it will just make it worse
dude... YOU CANT NOT CONTROL HER FEELINGS SO STOP TRYING.

do you think your god or something? ITS CALLED FREE WILL.

ya, she should back you up... that does not include HATING someone just for you

HATE is a strong word, if you really hate someone, it means you want them to suffer, die, go to hell... etc... NO HUMAN BEING DESERVES THAT.

so no, IT IS NOT WRONG FOR YOUR FRIEND TO HAVE HER OWN MIND AND NOT BE YOUR LITTLE ***** AND LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU TELL HER.
First this is your battle; secondly she needs to come to her own conclusion about your ex. In a perfect world that would be ideal for your friend to be mad just because you were mad. But she needs to come to her own conclusion and you still need to be her friend and long as she is still acting like your friend
I think your friend isn't as good of a friend as you think but at the same time it isn't her problem. Although if you were my friend then I would feel it is my responsibility to stand up for you. I believe that friends should stick together ragardless of the situation. I've had friends that I new were in the wrong but still backed them up because they are my friend.
your freind is right sorry.... hey my wife loves people i hate....i dont judge her because of that .. every body is there own person.....im sorry just being honest......... are you jelouse of your freind because of this?/
Not speaking to someone on behalf of someone is not the same thing as standing up for someone.

It's a grey area. You're ex was awful, but its hard to hate someone when you don't know what it feels like.

I would expect your friend to think what he did was awful, and at least be somewhat cold to him knowing that he did all those things. It's weird that she's totally fine talking to him and being nice to him knowing that.
Yeah, sometimes. It depends.
of course your friend should stand up for you, but it doesn't help to say you hate him. (a bit of advice) do let things offend you and don't take anything personally because you don't have any control over anyone and if he's to upset to admit that you guys breaking up hurt him and he's being mean that's his fault. if it gets really bad just ask your friends for advice on how to deal with it not asking them to hate someone
i'm the friend she's talking about, so watch it!